…I am black, and comely, O daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Don’t see me only as dark, because the sun has looked upon me this way. My mother’s children burned in anger with me; they made me guard the vineyards; but I have not guarded my own. Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where do you go to feed your flocks? Where do you take them at noontime for rest?  Why should I be as one that is veiled by the flocks of your companions? Song 1:5-7 .
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There is a striking difference in the nature of verses 5-7 above, where the Shulamite woman is talking about her skin color, her past, and being separated from her Beloved, with the preceding verses already discussed that picture a secure and almost idealistic relationship.  I don’t think it’s a stretch to see the first 4 verses of the Song as more ‘visionary’; of an intimate relationship in the Kingdom that is “seated in the heavenlies.”  [If you haven’t read my interpretive “opera” version of these verses, it is here].  In the Spirit we are already there, enjoying covenantal marriage, consummation, and ruling and reigning with Him.
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But when it comes down to life on earth, however, and how the finished work of Christ plays out in our soul and physical bodies, there are tears and pain.  For with intimacy comes exposure, and when the Lord in His consuming glory begins to gaze deeply into our eyes desiring more, first personally and then through the eyes of others in His body, His light begins to penetrate every nook and cranny.  He is very ‘visual’ this way, and He wants to enjoy us in the light. This part becomes very challenging for us, however, and there is a tendency to ‘abort’ or sabotage this kind of relationship.  Fears rise up, memories haunt us, and we can be overwhelmed with His intensity to the point of pulling away, or doing something to “make ourselves more beautiful.”
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I believe we can assume this happened to the Shulamite at some point, and that the verses above weren’t the first time she was reminded of her blemishes, which then caused her to reminisce about her past.  It certainly adds to the challenges that she and the King do not appear to live together (for reasons not given, but is highly symbolic), and that for the time being they must secretly rendezvous in places in order to be together.
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In the next post we are going to take a closer look at the Shulamite woman, her ‘secret life’ of abuse, regrets, love, and her response to it all.  For me it’s been a very moving experience to know her personally.  I think you’ll understand more soon.
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Being gazed upon,
Pamela

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